A Frog in Water

Once so close, I've never felt so far

Constantly, invisibly, lowering the bar

My arms slip around your waist but it feels like a waste

Too late

Absent thoughts of what we used to be

No– not you & me

Me and him and the peace i felt within

Instead of this constant state of fight or flight,

And that fleeing is starting to sound even more appealing

Is this what i do? Who i am? Leave when things get tough?

Or am i being strong, listening to that voice that says “enough” - 

Of this, this battle, this struggle

Things i used to find endearing are now just annoying

I find myself no longer enjoying, not just things we used to do together

But much of life itself

I feel strangled, living life trapped on this shelf

Feeling stuck, slow motion, screeching to a halt

We throw around blame, but we’re both at fault

Is there a way to reverse, undo the damage i've left in my wake

Until there are no more mistakes left for me to make

Don't put this on me, this wasn’t fair

I've been doing much more than my fair share

So excuse me if i can’t turn my head quick enough

To catch up to your mood swings

Walking on eggshells, picking up all the things

That you drop

You wonder why i can't support you when i'm too busy

Sweeping up the mess you made

Hands bare, i’m bleeding

Silently retreating

Wondering when in the hell 

This boiling pot got so hot